Bike Locks are Trouble
My girlfriend is a cyclist. So, I bought a bike so I could bike too. And a bike lock. A bike lock that can be used to lock up other things than just bikes, which will probably get me in trouble someday.

There's a park a few miles from where I live. It has one main walking path that goes around a small lake. This path is fairly high traffic and not suitable for any shenanigans. However, branching off the main path are a few hiking/biking trails, when I've been on a several times, and it's rare I see anyone. So this is my target. I grab my bike lock, handcuffs, and associated keys and drive to the park.

Fortunately, this evening there was an event at the park. A birthday party? Graduation party? I don't know. But I considered this a good thing because, while there were a lot more people, they were all preoccupied with the event. And since the parking lot was almost full, I'm pretty sure it deterred the usual walkers and general public from using the park, which meant there were fewer people than usual using the trails.

I head to the walking path with my handcuffs in my pocket and my bike lock wrapped around my waist under my shirt. I didn't want anyone to see I was carrying a bike lock--that might raise some eyebrows. When the coast was clear, I veered off the main path and went on one of the hiking trails into woods.

This was my plan: hide my bike lock key near one end of the hiking trail, walk to the other end of the hiking trail (where it then opens up to the parking lot), take off my clothes, thread my clothes through the bike lock, and then lock my clothes around a tree. This forces me to walk back naked to where I hid my bike lock key, then walk all the way back to my clothes again before I can put them on.

And so, that's what I did. About a hundred feet into the hiking trail, I hid my bike lock key. From here, I could still see people walking along the main trail, which meant they could still see me. When I come back to get my key, naked, there would be a chance someone would see me if they were paying attention. However, because of the lack of normal traffic, minutes would pass between groups of walkers.

After hiding my key, I walked about ten minutes before reaching a clearing. I'm not sure of the exact time because I left my phone, wallet, and anything non-essential in my car. I was still several hundred feet from the edge of the woods, but with the clearing and the wider paths at this point, I figured it was too risky to venture much closer to the edge. There is also a thick, few feet wide tree near the perimeter which makes a good hiding spot for my clothes. I wouldn't want someone to come into the clearing, see my clothes, and wonder what is going on.

At this point, I realize I forgot one thing: to unlock my bike lock. It was still wrapped around my waist and the key was about half a mile away. Sighs. I go back, grab my key, unlock my bike lock, hide my key again, and walk back to the clearing. Now I'm ready to go. I walk along the trail a bit towards the parking lot to make sure no one is coming, and then come back to the clearing. I go behind the tree, take off my clothes, put the bike lock through the holes of my shirt, through my pants leg, through my boxer leg, and through my sandals--yes, I'd be walking barefoot. Mostly, I just find it a bit odd to be completely naked sans footwear. Plus, it adds more to the situation. And finally, I stick my keyring through the bike rack which contains my car key and my handcuff key. Now is the moment of truth: I can either put back on all my clothes and go home, or be forced to walk through the woods naked. I decided to go home.

Just kidding.

After a few quick moments debating whether or not to actually do this, I closed the lock. Now I'm stuck--I'm forced to walk naked. It really wasn't much of a decision; after walking my chosen path a few times now clothed and not seeing anyone, I felt fairly confident I would escape without incident.

Oh yes, now to make use of my handcuffs. To add one more aspect to this self dare, not only am I naked, barefoot, and no way to back out of this situation, I decided to handcuff my hands behind my back, just to add to the potential humiliation. Now if someone sees me, not only am I naked but I have no way of covering myself up. So here I am, naked and handcuffed. I force myself to move because there's only one thing to do now.

Perhaps oddly, I was most nervous before even leaving my house and during the drive over. My nervousness perhaps peaked again when I was getting undressed and when I finally closed the lock, but mostly subsided once I started moving. I've done other dares like this before, riskier dares, dares where I've actually been seen, but this has been my most elaborate dare. I've never used handcuffs on my exhibition trips, and I've never owned a bike lock before. Usually, I have no way to force myself to be naked--in previous dares, I generally just take off my clothes and walk away from them. There's nothing stopping me from deciding I've had enough, running back to my clothes and putting them back on.

Also, I must say, handcuffs are kind of uncomfortable. I didn't put them on very tight, but being cuffed behind my back, the handcuffs were digging into my back. I finally realized that putting my hand over the handcuff helped.

Anyway, I reached my bike lock without incident. I didn't see anyone passing along the main trail, and after grabbing the key, I decided to walk farther towards the main trail. However, after not more than ten feet, my nerve caught up to me and I scurried back deeper into the woods.

I returned to my clothes, once again, without incident. Sorry to disappoint, but my journey was uneventful--no one saw me naked tonight. I decided to have a tad more fun, so while still handcuffed and naked, I walked towards the parking lot until I could see cars. Then I came back. Then I went along a different trail until saw cars again, and I came back to my clothes. Okay, now it's time to put my clothes back on. I unlocked my bike lock, slid off all my clothes, and my keyring. All of this is much more difficult being handcuffed and trying not to get myself too dirty. While I was fumbling with trying to get the handcuffs off, I hear a girl shout. That got my heart racing. It sounded pretty close, but I didn't see anyone and I didn't hear anything further. I got my handcuffs off, put on my clothes, and headed home.Page 1 |
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Classification: Non-Fiction
Date: 06:47pm June 5th, 2015
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Total Points: 130
Interesting, sounds like a thrilling adventure!
June 5, 2015, 7:12 pm


Total Points: 1356
That was an amazing story. An incredible dare for youself. Very proud of you man !! Thanks for sharing . .
June 7, 2015, 12:49 pm


Total Points: 294
Well done, and congratulations on a successful and exciting adventure. That you were not seen doesn't take away from the story at all, or the accomplishment.
August 4, 2015, 11:06 pm
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